How does the gospel apply to relationships when you’re hurt by others? How can we respond biblically when someone has offended us? Let me start with an example from my own life…
It was getting late and I still had so many things to do. I was almost done with the dishes, but I still needed to hang the laundry, pack the lunches, and prep for things at work the next day. Bitterness started growing in me as I was the only one doing anything to keep this house running. Why doesn’t anyone else notice how stressed I am? Why don’t they get up and help? I start to feel bad for myself and think that I deserve rest like everyone else. Why do I always have to be the one serving others?
So…I get up the nerve to say something (with my bitter heart growing) and what comes out is a passive-aggressive comment about how I wish I could sit down and not do anything. I go on to say that no one appreciates me and I wish people would just help out around here. And the response I get is not the one I hoped for (which I should’ve seen coming because of the state of my heart when I decided to say something!). What could’ve been a simple, kind, ask for help, turned into a full blown argument. In the end, we were both hurt and offended by each other’s accusations and hurtful comments.
Maybe this situation sounds familiar to you, or maybe something similar does. Maybe you’ve been hurt really badly by others and don’t know how to deal with the hurt that you feel towards them. How does the gospel address our relationships with others, especially when we feel hurt and mistreated by others?
Applying the gospel to our relationships
God created us to be in perfect communion with Him and with one another, but we chose our sin and desires over His rule in our lives. We decided to go our own way instead of following God’s way. When sin came into the world, it brought with it fighting, anger, selfishness, hatred, etc. The list is endless of how our sin affects our relationships. We don’t have to look far to see that in our day to day lives as we relate to one another.
You also don’t have to look far into scripture to see the affects of sin on relationships. In Genesis 1 and 2, you see God creating the heavens and the earth in beautiful harmony and relationship with Him. By Genesis 3, Adam and Eve choose their own desire to rule their lives over God’s rule, and sin enters the world. And it only takes until Genesis 4 to see men killing one another and sin wrecking not only their relationship with God but also with one another.
As you travel through the Old Testament, you see the affects of sin on the lives of God’s people and God’s plan to redeem His people- to be their savior from the mess of sin they have become entangled in and brought back to a right relationship with Him. Then, when Jesus comes to earth, He is the fulfillment of God’s grand plan to bring redemption to the earth. He, the God of the universe, comes down to earth to live a perfect life and die on a cross in our place, the place WE deserve. Ephesians 2:4-5 says:
“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved.”
Wow- what a gracious and merciful God we have! This is exactly what, as redeemed people of God, helps us to extend this same grace and mercy towards others.
We know how undeserving we are of such radical mercy and so, we too want to be merciful to those around us.
We recognize our sin before a holy and perfect God and are humbled that He would forgive us time after time, so how could we not forgive those around us?
We see the mistreatment of Christ in His life and on the cross, accompanied by the love He still had for the world amidst this, so we ought to love our enemies and those who are mistreating us just as He does.
We are called to be a people who reflect God’s character to one another and what more beautiful way do we do this than as the body of Christ, extending grace, mercy, and forgiveness to one another, especially when it is undeserved by the one we are extending it to.
We see Jesus command in John 13:34-35: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
The gospel is what enables us to deal with being offended or deeply hurt by others. It frees us to see our own sin and not to just point out the sins of others. It frees us to extend the same grace given us through Christ, a grace that we know we could never be deserving of, but is lavished on us freely through Christ. It humbles us to approach one another with forgiveness, grace, and the love that He first loved us with. This being a sacrificial, humble, forgiving kind of love. In doing so, others see the character of Christ and are drawn to Him even deeper.
This struggle with sin and discord with one another will not last forever. The great hope of the gospel is that it doesn’t end with Christ on the cross, but it only begins as He raises from the dead and promises to come again to usher in a New Heaven and a New Earth. When He returns there will be no more fighting or pain and our struggle to love one another will be no more. He will completely “reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross” (Colossians 1:20-21).
I am so thankful that the gospel speaks so clearly to this topic of relational struggles and I am beyond thankful for the hope we have for it to not always be this way. Thankfully, as we wait, we have the Holy Spirit in us continually interceding for us and urging us to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:1-3.
So when we are offended and hurt, we can remember the grace and love of Christ towards us, which allows us to extend this same grace and love to those who have hurt us. What a picture of the gospel when God’s people treat one another as Christ has treated them!
For more on applying the gospel to your everyday life, go to the Gospel in Everyday tab!
