The Gospel When You Feel Like You’re Failing

I recently wrote a post on applying the gospel to your everyday life and how to preach the gospel to yourself daily. Then, yesterday I had a perfect example of what this looks like in my life…

I was plugging along, having a wonderful day. We had just finished an encouraging discussion with our church small group about our need to run to the feet of Jesus for forgiveness and grace throughout our days. Our group finished and I checked on what the kids were doing.

My daughter had neglected to do what I had asked her to do to help get lunch ready. This had started to become a recurring thing for her when I ask her to do something for me. I felt the frustration inside me begin to grow- not because of one time of ignoring my instructions, but because it has become the habit of her heart. The other times of frustration had built up enough for me, that I just felt defeated.

I began to talk to her about this, instructing her on looking out for ways to serve one another and obeying my instructions. I was fighting back the tears as I had just felt like I was failing as a mom lately. My thought pattern went something like this:

Why does it seem like no one is listening? Does anyone care when they have hurt others? I have been working so hard to intentionally pour the Word of Christ into them, sharing with them ways to serve and care for others, and had been praying for their hearts. Why don’t I see change in them?

As I processed these questions, I knew that I had not been modeling many of these things well for them. I also realized that I needed to check my own heart before looking at the sins in others’ hearts. I had to remind myself that it isn’t up to me to change hearts, but only to be faithful to share and pray and let the Spirit do the work. The topic from small group was also ringing in my ears. I very quickly had the opportunity to apply what it looks like to be quick to repent when I have failed.

But in my frustration and despair of feeling like a failure, I still hadn’t recognized how much I needed to give control over to the Lord.

As I sat down to talk to my husband about how I was feeling, he so graciously pointed me to the gospel, and my heart quickly softened. Oh how I needed to hear the truths of the gospel poured over me in the midst of feeling like an awful parent. Through the gentle words of my husband, I was reminded of so many truths about the gospel.

The gospel reminds us how patient God is with us.

As I think about my impatience with the sin of my children, it should draw me to be reminded of how very patient God is with me. How often do I struggle to love God with all my heart and fall into all sorts of sin and struggles? Every single day God lavishes patience and kindness over me as I continue to struggle with a sinful heart. This is a patience that I so do not deserve for Him to give to me, but He pours it out to me time and time again.

If He is so patient with me, how can I be so impatient with the sin of others?

If He is quick to extend mercy and grace to me while I struggle with selfishness, pride, and impatience, how can I not be quick to forgive and extend grace to others?

The gospel reminds us of our need for Jesus.

This place of struggle is not a bad place to be. It is in this realization that I’m not good enough and not in control, that I lean on Jesus and depend on Him fully. My heart remembers my place before a holy God and that He is in control of my heart, the hearts of others, and all things.

As I lean on Him, He reminds me to be patiently dependent on Him for both my sanctification and growth, and also the transformation of others. He is the one who changes hearts, I must gaze upon His beauty and faithfully share Him.

The gospel reminds us that even though I am not enough, Christ IS more than enough.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” Christ’s grace is sufficient for everything in this life. When I am failing, these are opportunities for His power to shine through my weakness. He is more than enough for all that we need.

The gospel reminds us that Christ understands and meets us in our time of need.

Hebrews 4:15-16 says it so well: “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

In this moment of surrendering my heart and role as a mother before the Lord, the gospel filled my heart with hope and strength. Romans 5:6-11 came to mind and I spent time meditating on it and praying through it:

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.“

In these moments, the gospel reminds me of my sin before a holy God. It reminds me that He created me in His image to glorify Him, but my sin continually entangles me. The truth that even while I was still a sinner, God showed His love for me by sending Christ to die for my sin draws my heart to repentance. How could God be so good to me? My heart rejoices in not only the forgiveness and life through Christ for today but also for the hope of an eternity worshiping Him without the distraction of my sin and struggles.

I am so thankful for the reminder to “rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory” (1 Peter 1:8) in the mercy and grace of God. As these everyday moments of failure and struggle happen, they point us to our need for Jesus, cause us to run to Him in repentance, and as we do, He graciously pours out mercy to us over and over in our time of need.

In these moments, we must be preaching the gospel to ourselves and showering His Word over our hearts as we lean into Him. It is in these times of struggle that I am reminded that Jesus didn’t come for those who had it all together, but He “came to seek and to save the lost.” Luke 19:10. He came to mend my broken heart and make it whole in His name. I’m thankful for how these everyday, ordinary moments remind me of the steadfast and patient love of God to us through Christ.

As I went back to my daughter to ask for her forgiveness and talk about the struggles of my own heart this time, I was reminded of the blessing of these moments. While these moments of struggle are emotional and hard, they are a blessing not only for me as I come before the Lord, but also as I have the opportunity to share how the gospel is impacting my life with my children. They get a front row seat to see what repentance, grace, and applying the gospel to your life looks like each day through me, if I am faithful to share with them.

After our chat, I was reminded of a quote from the very book I had just been studying with my small group:

“The practice of confession and absolution must find it’s way into the small moments of sinfulness in my day. When it does, the gospel- grace itself- seeps into my day, and these moments are transformed. They’re no longer meaningless interruptions, sheer failure, and lostness and brokenness. Instead, they’re moments to grow bit by bit in trusting Jesus’ work on my behalf.”

Tish Harrison Warren, The Liturgy of the Ordinary, p. 59

What a good and gracious God we serve! “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!” Romans 11:33

*I recently wrote a post called “The Gospel in Everyday Life” about applying the gospel to everyday life and preaching it to yourself daily. This is one of many posts that I share as an example of what it looks like in my life to be preaching the gospel to myself in everyday moments. For more posts on this, go to the “Gospel in Everyday” tab.