Growing in Thankfulness

We were rushing to get some quick take out food for dinner so we could hurry up, get home, and get the kids to bed. The kids were grumpy and hungry and complaining. This, of course, made me grumpy and I began my own, adult version of complaining about their hearts of unthankfulness. Sound like a familiar situation to you? 

With Thanksgiving coming up this week, thankfulness is a topic on many of our minds. In a world of entitlement and greed, how do we foster thankfulness in our families?

It starts with us, the parents. I know, you were hoping I wouldn’t say that. Thankfulness is hard. It is much easier to grumble, complain, and vent about all the things that don’t go our way. It’s funny how we, ironically, often grumble about other people’s grumbling, just like I did at the restaurant with my kids.

Paul encourages us in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 to “rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 

How is it possible to give thanks in ALL circumstances?

The only way that this is possible is when we are looking at the goodness of God throughout our day instead of the goodness (or not so goodness) of the circumstances of our day. When we have our eyes fixed on our Creator and the grace upon grace that He lavishes upon us each day, our hearts overflow with thanksgiving for all He has done for us. We are able to see our circumstances through the lens of His Word and His plan, instead of complaining and grumbling about them. 

So, how do we teach this kind of thankfulness to our kids? 

1. It starts in the small things. Are you saying thank you for things they have done for you? Are you teaching them to say thank you when others serve them, give them things, or in small acts of kindness towards them? Are you showing them the goodness of God as you walk along observing His creation and teaching them to say thanks to God for His goodness and grace? How about the general atmosphere of your home? Is it a place of grumbling and complaining or are words of thankfulness on your lips? 

2. One thing we love to do in our house at dinnertime is to go around and talk about the best parts of our days. We have recently added in saying one thing we are each thankful for from that day. It causes us to really stop and think intentionally about what happened that day that we can be thankful for. It also challenges the kids to move beyond saying the same things each time (as they are prone to always say family, food, water, a house, etc.) and to think deeper about the things they are thankful for and all that God has done for us that day.

3.  Teach them to serve others. “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35. Whether it is through serving others in your home, their friends, their teachers, their neighbors, or going somewhere to volunteer and serve together, opportunities to serve allow us to overflow our blessings on to others around us. When we are reflecting on all we are thankful for, the natural thing to do is overflow these blessings to those around us.

4. At Thanksgiving (or all year round!), develop traditions of thankfulness. We like to make a thankful tree and put it on our dining room table. Each night at dinner during the month of November, we write what we are thankful for on a cut out leaf and add it to our tree. It’s amazing how many things you can come up with in one month! You could also do this for the week leading up to Thanksgiving or even while you are sitting waiting for the turkey to come out of the oven. A fun way to do this at the Thanksgiving dinner table is to cover the table with paper and let everyone write all the things they are thankful for on there! And don’t forget to go around and share what you wrote down later!

5. Read Psalms of praise and pray together, thanking God for how good He is. A few good ones to start with might be Psalm 86, Psalm 100, or Psalm 145. This could even be a great thing to read, discuss, and praise God for throughout your Thanksgiving meal or it could be a regular habit your family begins on a normal week. As we read God’s Word, there are endless things to thank and praise Him for- develop this habit both in your personal time with God and also as you pray together as a family.

Related: Check out my Psalms of Praise series to spend more extended time together in some of these Psalms, praising God together!

6. Develop the practice of looking back on all that God has done and thanking Him. I love doing this as I look back over pictures and journals from the year and thanking God for all He has taught me and done, but so often I forget to do this with the kids and share with them all that God has done. Sometimes it just takes that simple next step of bringing the whole family in on a process you may already be doing on your own. 

This is just a short list of ideas to get you going. Holiday traditions are such a helpful tool for discipling your kids and having meaningful discussions. They are worth the extra effort and it is never too late to start, but don’t forget, the foundation for our thankfulness is not the tradition but the hope we have in the goodness of our great God and Savior! Happy Thanksgiving! 

“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” Colossians 4:2