*This post is part of the series “Faithful Discipleship in the Home and Beyond” where I chat with friends about what it looks like to balance intentionally discipling their children while also discipling others outside of the home. My prayer with this series is not to give you a plan to follow, but to have the opportunity to be encouraged by and get ideas from others, just like you, who desire to faithfully make disciples of all nations both at home and beyond. In this series you will hear what family discipleship looks like in many different homes and contexts, how to be faithful at home while still making disciples outside of the home, and you will find resources that have helped other families on this road of discipleship. So, let’s jump in!
In this post, we get the opportunity to hear from my wonderful friend, Tami, who has made an incredible impact on me over the years as she has invested in me. Tami has walked alongside me for years and was instrumental in helping me understand what it looked like to not only share the truths of scripture with others in discipleship, but how to share my life with them as well (1 Thessalonians 2:8). Her life is a beautiful testament to how God has worked in her, shaped her, and overflowed out of her as she sacrificially cares for others around her on a daily basis. I can’t wait for you to hear from her!
Meet Tami and Her Family!
Tami and her husband, Scott have four adult kids (+ two son-in-laws!) and two beautiful grandchildren. They have many years of experience faithfully discipling men and women in various contexts from church ministry, university ministry, and into community ministry. Tami has an incredible heart for walking alongside women as she disciples them, as well as for helping families to faithfully disciple their children and pour the truths of Scripture into their little hearts. She has great wisdom and experience from her years in ministry, raising her children, and now getting to help care for her grandchildren as well! Let’s hear from her!
The Impact of Everyday Discipleship in Her Life
“We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done…so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.” Psalm 78:4, 6-7
Out the back door into the sweltering heat with his normal steady stride went my grandfather. The daily routine of caring for his pigeons and the yard was to commence. After watching Laurel and Hardy on Sunday mornings, I would head off to my grandparents house to spend time with them. It would consist of gardening with Grandma and observing my grandpa in his backyard. The backyard became a training ground for me, but none of us really knew at the time that’s what it would be. It’s upon reflecting over what my journey of discipleship has looked like that I can see these backyard adventures had a huge impact on me.
As my grandfather cared for the homing pigeons, I would pop in and out of the pigeon loft asking what he was doing. He would always take the time to answer my questions, show the birds to me and model how to take care of them. I would then dart over to Grandma and she would direct me to the flowers in the garden, explain what it was we were working with and what she wanted me to do. I very rarely touched the pigeons, but the dirt, let’s just say there was great need to scrub my nails when we were done.
Over the years this “training” continued. I would observe, ask questions, or be brought into a project and taught how to do it. It’s interesting to realize that there were similar modes of operation with my parents. In general, my mom is one I observe and ask questions of, while my dad is the one to explicitly teach me something and bring me into a project as he teaches me along the way. As you read you might think our environment does much to shape how we operate. There is truth to that. You could google nature vs. nurture and find plenty of information but what most of it will miss is the powerful hand of a Sovereign God working with wisdom and love to bring about His plans and purposes in the universe.
The memories I share of that backyard training all took place many years prior to my grandparents and parents becoming believers in Christ but all still under the sovereign hand of God. I can now see that my journey of discipleship is exactly that, a journey, and it began with what I learned at home and from my family.
While my first 11 years of life had no scriptural input from my parents or grandparents, it has had a part in shaping what I am like today. We are all made in the image of God, so even in our fallenness there are glimpses of His image. My grandpa’s patience; my grandma’s love of her children & grandchildren; my father’s love of fishing and desire to understand all that he can on the subject; and my mother’s ability to forgive, are all a reflection of that image. I don’t need to tell you that their sins also had an impact on what I am like today.
From the 50 years I’ve been on this earth and the 39 I’ve been a child of God, I could give you 10-12 principles for you to live your life on and use in parenting your children for the glory of God. But what can’t be so easily passed on and implemented is the transformative work of the Lord in my life that has helped me land on those biblical principles. It’s in the daily routine of the backyard chores, the seeking of answers to questions, learning from others, being impacted by the sins of others, and reflecting back on the “training” that I really know and can identify these principles.
Some of these principles come out of incredibly rebellious seasons in my life. Others come from moments of teachability and humility when I’ve grabbed ahold of the wisdom that others were imparting to me. And still others very clearly come from the Lord opening my eyes and my mind to understanding His word even more deeply and applying it to my life. The simplest way to sum that up is through Philippians 1:6:
“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” it is from the Lord’s work in you that you will impact others. You can’t teach what you don’t know.
If I can leave you with four words to help you in the journey, they would be Redeemed, Read, Reflect, Remember.
4 Principles For Discipling and Parenting to the Glory of God
1. Redeemed
Seek to understand who you are in Christ. I’ll repeat it again under the next R, but understand the gospel and don’t stop at the simple truths of “I’m a sinner and Christ has saved me.” The gospel is simple enough for a child to understand and complex enough that you will spend a lifetime seeking to understand and experience it and still not be to the end of what you could know!
2. Read
Know the Word of God because this is how you know God. Be a lifelong student of the scriptures. Seek to understand the gospel with greater depth and most importantly seek to understand who God is. As you come daily to the Bible and read, ask these three questions of the passage you are reading:
- Who is God?
- What is He like?
- How should I respond to Him?
{I first saw these in the Children Desiring God (now Truth 78) Sunday school curriculum called “The ABC’s of God.” It, along with other resources from them, has played a significant role in my discipling of my children and others}.
Living your life under the authority of scripture and teaching your children and others to do the same is a great way to engage in the good work the Lord has begun in you.
3. Reflect
Experience is a useful teacher but evaluated experience is an exceptional teacher. You will grow from your experiences, but reflecting back on it and evaluating it can bring an even greater depth of transformation leading to understanding and wisdom.
4. Remember
Psalm 78 started this post and will now end it. The scriptures are full of the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord. Reading from Genesis to Revelation will give you story after story of how our Mighty Savior has glorified Himself throughout history. Your life and those evaluated experiences give you story after story of the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord’s work in you. Give regular testimony with the Lord at the center of the story of the things He has done in you and through you.
“We will not hide them from their descendants; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done…so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.” Psalm 78:4, 6-7
Writing this blog has been an enormous joy for me. I have thoroughly enjoyed the process of thinking through what raising everyday disciples has looked like in my life. I hope I’ve left you with some specific things to grab a hold of and pursue, but I also hope that I’ve put you in a place to observe a little glimpse of God’s work in my life, and then to ask questions of your own life. If it blesses you, let this be the beginning of a conversation about discipleship- we’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
Looking for more encouraging stories of what it looks like to grow in discipleship in other’s lives? Check out my friend, Katie’s post as well or head to our page “Faithful Discipleship in the Home and Beyond” for the whole series of posts.